I used to know the Truth, and felt I had a handle on life, but it was all made up. Now I am pretty sure that everything I think I know, is wrong, but that may not be correct. I do know one thing now though that I didn’t before – I am not defective, unlovable, or broken. I am not the child of a lesser God, just lesser parents.
This blog is a record of my feelings and progress since my recent (re)birth. I no longer need my False Self, but I don’t know who the real me is. I’m not even sure what I like. I used to love the gym because if I only got that perfect 6-pack then people would like me. Now I no longer care if they like me (well I think I don’t) do I still want to go to the gym? For what purpose? Is a 6-pack it’s own reward? Nightmare.
This whole not-hating-yourself thing is kind of weird. At the start of 2015 I had a list of goals that were finally going to give me control over my life. Like I did in 2014, and every year previously. This year my goals are to go with the flow and laugh more and love more and see if I can provide any tangible purpose for my existence. Pretty hard to plan those out on a whiteboard. I guess I’ll see where the Universe takes this instead.